‘Only By Grace’
a series of reflections for Easter in the form of monologues by Judas Iscariot
This series of reflections take a different stance on grace than you may have experienced previously – this is grace through the eyes of Judas Iscariot. Written as a dramatic presentation, these posts during holy week 2017 are adapted from the original script. If you are joining part way through the journey, do head back to the introduction before continuing with the actual monologues.
PART 5 – DRIVEN BY GRACE
I walked among the holy men, the virtuous people who obey the law. A follower of a false prophet they called me, a believer of heresies and lies – perhaps they were right?
At the time I said it was not so, that he had divine faith, a teacher of heavenly wisdom, a healer and caster out of demons. A blasphemer they said but I was still hopeful of things which were to come.
Many follow him because they believe in him, they choose to desert the teaching of the scribes and the hypocrisy of the pharisses – his followers multiply daily and yours dwindle.
It’s not uncommon for Jews and Romans to use informers, people who keep the peace but I don’t know if that’s why I was there – and I don’t think the ranking priests, scholars and elders knew either, they looked at me as if to say ‘why are you here?’…
I hardly knew, I could hardly think at all – night after night I had slept mingling the innocent memories of childhood with beguiling calculations about a better tomorrow, but now I could not articulate a single thought…
The time when all was still open to destiny had passed. In this instant through a tragic choice I’m not sure I was capable to make, baseness had closed my pores to love, had dimmed my eyes to the faces of the friends I had walked alongside – the food and drink we had shared were like a distant odour on the wind… nothing seemed important anymore…
I don’t know if I was being driven by grace but the darkness grew and my head whirled with all the broken promises, I blurted out
“he’s a liar isn’t he?”
The next thing I know, pieces of silver were counted out and I found myself walking away saying “I’ll wait for the right time.”